"Grand Prize, Lookin’ for a Winner!” Color
Book Review by Michael Harrison of Good Reads (Atlanta, GA)
Are you tired, confused, burnt out, and discouraged about the current dating scene? Has dating become a maze? Do you wonder why Date Number Two never happens? Do you desire a relationship beyond three months? Do you ponder where are the available, dateable brothas?
If you answer yes, “Grand Prize, Lookin’ for a Winner!” by first time author Cleon T. Day III will address those questions and more. Day’s advice about dating & relationships is both candid and humorous, especially for those of us looking for a date, those of us already in the dating scene, and those of us looking for a relationship.
Day begins by explaining the differences between good, bad, and great dates. He then moves into one of my favorite sections, "Just a Few Cool Dates". This chapter provides great ideas for you to do on the first date, and, hopefully, the second, third…hey, nothing wrong with wishful thinking.
Day next defines red flags. He says a red flag is an intuitive instinct that alerts you to something that was said. Brothas, red flags should make you pause, and say “hmmm…do I need to some set limits and boundaries?” A lot of men (me included) make the mistake of seeing the physical of a man (He’s phyne…he’s cute…damn, he’s sexy…) and overlook red flags such as his jealous remarks, his controlling ways, and, a major flag, his insecurities. A little secret: Insecurity is an inconspicuous trait of most men. Day adds ignoring red flags can lead to an unhealthy relationship in the future, and are one reason relationships fail.
In the next three chapters, Day addresses what he identifies as three components of dating: physical attractiveness, chemistry, and compatibility.
Then he writes about the First Date. (Brotha’s, by now you should have the digits of that datable, available man). Day provides tips on what to wear; addresses nervousness; discusses who pays; where to go; and how to make a good first impression. (I need a lot of help here.)
While on you first date, he offers three questions you need to ask yourself: Are we attracted to each other? Do we have we chemistry? Are we compatible? …Hopefully, you can answer the three with an emphatic yes! (For me, maybe two out of three.)
And then, Day moves into an interesting and intriguing chapter entitled Polisvitiy. Polisivity, a concept developed by Day, was created exclusively for Gay Men of Color.
Day writes: “Polisivity is where brothas come together with common interest, shared values, and mutual attraction. The relationship is non-monogamous and involves each brotha relating to all their partners without a hierarchy of preference. Each brotha has a sexual relationship with each of the brothas and does not have any sexual encounter outside of their relationship.”
Now, the polivisity concept is a possibility for many men, especially those men who have given up on the idea of a monogamous relationship, or men who enjoy sexual variety within the context of a relationship. One caveat: Polivisity is not for everyone.
Day’s common sense advice isn't new or groundbreaking; however, writing the first book specifically to meet our needs is commendable.
The book is an easy read. His humor throughout is entertaining. (Check out his chapter on anecdotes.) For the man that’s tired and burnt out of the dating maze and scene, "Grand Prize, Lookin’ for a Winner!" is worth reading. Whether you are new to dating, feel like you need brushing up or back on the scene, this book is your guide.
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