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The Front of the Bus

Today, I had an interesting experience on public transportation I like to share. I was seated upfront on one of our local buses here in Atlanta. When the driver pulled up to a bus stop, there was a guy waiting for the front door to open. I noticed as the doors open he hesitated to come in. While looking at the driver the man seemed like was deciding as to whether or not he was going to catch the bus. Reluctantly he climbed up the steps and came in uttering the word “Dam”!

As he put his money into the fare slot, the patron shook his head left and right as though he was disgusted. It made me wonder if he and the driver had beef earlier. I got my answer when he set down. The man said, “They are everywhere now; they are taking control of the world, deciding if you can get on or off. Ever since Obama got in control, they control the army, they control marriage and which bathrooms they will go in."

I’m sure by now you know who the “they” are what he’s talking about. Although I know homophobia when I see it, nothing could have prepared me to think the man’s beef would hang on to the driver’s sexual orientation. The beef he had probably had earlier might have had something to do with some fare issue earlier and the driver’s handling of it. From the incident, the rider’s opinion would be, the driver is gay. (By the way, my “gaydar” had detected the driver is gay.)

What I found profound in the rider’s comments is his awareness, gays are taking control but unbeknown to him, gays are taking control of their “equal rights, in pursuit of happiness as citizens in the United States, “One nation Under God”! Major progress has been made for the gay community in the past eight years through the Federal Government and the U.S. Supreme Court.

I believe as a by-product of the three branches of government embracing human rights as “Civil Rights”. However, it doesn’t mean “we made it” as a number of people think Blacks have because we have an “African American” President of the United States.

The rider’s homophobic comment brought to the surface something that is hidden before our eyes. It’s astonishing the number of celebrities, athletes and LGBT in general who openly acknowledge their sexual orientation without apology! They are all paving a way for common LGBT folks to be accepting of their sexual orientation.

To Loan or not to Take a Loan is the Question

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."

(That saying was taken from a soliloquy by Polonius in Act I, Scene 3 of William Shakespeare's Hamlet. Polonius is giving advice to his son Laertes before Laertes heads back to school. Here is more of the quote.)

True, there are all types of loans but for argument sake this conversation we’re going to talk about loaning money. First, we’re going to explore personal loans and then acquiring business loans for a new business.

I don’t think there’s not one of us living or dead who has not borrowed and/or loan money to another human being. Many of us have gotten back or paid back all or most of the money we have loaned. And, there are those of us who have loaned money and gotten it all back but not in a timely fashion. Still there are those of us who haven’t gotten one red cent, however have gotten an attitude from the borrower questioning why we bothered to ask for our money back!

You might be wondering if I had a recent experience of loaning money for bringing up this subject. No, nothing just happen other than me watching another reality court show of civil court friends and family suing over a loan. It made me think about the two line of Shakespeare’s soliloquy "Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend".

Strangely enough, the soliloquy two versus triggered a statement made by billionaire Mark Cuban about getting a loan to start a business. Mr. Cuban said "Only morons start a business on a loan?". Upon first glance at his statement one might be turned off by the name-calling and thinking how can you start a business without borrowing money. However, if you can get pass “morons” and dig deeper, what Mark said about taking out a loan to start a business makes sense!

Gil Silberman, who’s founded many startups and advised hundreds of entrepreneurs, explains Mark’s statement. Mr. Silberman states "He's talking about bank loans, and a relatively small class of innovative startup businesses that are trying to achieve something new and go big with it. For those businesses, a loan debt is a cash drain that makes it harder for the business to succeed, and is typically secured by a personal guarantee and collateral on the part of the entrepreneur who takes the loan, which greatly increases the risk".

Gil continues "Small business administration loans, for example, are very conservative, they do require personal guarantees, and they usually want to cross-collateralize the loan against every other business and real estate the borrower owns, which means they are risking personal financial collapse for themselves and their family. That sort of debt will hurt their chances of obtaining cash from any other source, either personally or as a business".

Gay Black Men

Gay Black men have been in long time relationships for a long time. How does it happen? I believe it requires staying out of the limelight of the “Gay seductive Lifestyle” (i.e. excessive partying, sexual promiscuity) and creating a personal lifestyle of your own. What are your thoughts? Below is a video of such a relationship, Lewis Duckett and Billy Jones:

View Video Here

Love is Love

Love is in the air for Gay Men of Color and those who are into them and gay men all over. However, some men believe it’s over for them for whatever reason. Whether it be past failed relationships, ageism, or having low self-esteem too many men and women wanting a same-sex relationship are growing old alone! Below is a composition created by Author, Philanthropist, & Actor AnDerecco. Sit back and enjoy his Vision of Love 2016. It is our hope this video will inspire something within you to get back in the art of dating. Grand Prize Singles Experience, LLC vision coincides with the world of being in love. Please join us when we open!

 

"Grand Prize, Lookin’ for a Winner!” Color

Book Review by Michael Harrison of Good Reads (Atlanta, GA)

Are you tired, confused, burnt out, and discouraged about the current dating scene? Has dating become a maze? Do you wonder why Date Number Two never happens? Do you desire a relationship beyond three months? Do you ponder where are the available, dateable brothas?

If you answer yes, “Grand Prize, Lookin’ for a Winner!” by first time author Cleon T. Day III will address those questions and more. Day’s advice about dating & relationships is both candid and humorous, especially for those of us looking for a date, those of us already in the dating scene, and those of us looking for a relationship.

Day begins by explaining the differences between good, bad, and great dates. He then moves into one of my favorite sections, "Just a Few Cool Dates". This chapter provides great ideas for you to do on the first date, and, hopefully, the second, third…hey, nothing wrong with wishful thinking.

Day next defines red flags. He says a red flag is an intuitive instinct that alerts you to something that was said. Brothas, red flags should make you pause, and say “hmmm…do I need to some set limits and boundaries?” A lot of men (me included) make the mistake of seeing the physical of a man (He’s phyne…he’s cute…damn, he’s sexy…) and overlook red flags such as his jealous remarks, his controlling ways, and, a major flag, his insecurities. A little secret: Insecurity is an inconspicuous trait of most men. Day adds ignoring red flags can lead to an unhealthy relationship in the future, and are one reason relationships fail.


In the next three chapters, Day addresses what he identifies as three components of dating: physical attractiveness, chemistry, and compatibility.

Then he writes about the First Date. (Brotha’s, by now you should have the digits of that datable, available man). Day provides tips on what to wear; addresses nervousness; discusses who pays; where to go; and how to make a good first impression. (I need a lot of help here.)

While on you first date, he offers three questions you need to ask yourself: Are we attracted to each other? Do we have we chemistry? Are we compatible? …Hopefully, you can answer the three with an emphatic yes! (For me, maybe two out of three.)

And then, Day moves into an interesting and intriguing chapter entitled Polisvitiy. Polisivity, a concept developed by Day, was created exclusively for Gay Men of Color.

Day writes: “Polisivity is where brothas come together with common interest, shared values, and mutual attraction. The relationship is non-monogamous and involves each brotha relating to all their partners without a hierarchy of preference. Each brotha has a sexual relationship with each of the brothas and does not have any sexual encounter outside of their relationship.”

Now, the polivisity concept is a possibility for many men, especially those men who have given up on the idea of a monogamous relationship, or men who enjoy sexual variety within the context of a relationship. One caveat: Polivisity is not for everyone.

Day’s common sense advice isn't new or groundbreaking; however, writing the first book specifically to meet our needs is commendable.

The book is an easy read. His humor throughout is entertaining. (Check out his chapter on anecdotes.) For the man that’s tired and burnt out of the dating maze and scene, "Grand Prize, Lookin’ for a Winner!" is worth reading. Whether you are new to dating, feel like you need brushing up or back on the scene, this book is your guide.

Goodreads is the world’s largest site for readers and book recommendations.

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